assalamualaikum bloggers! (eventhough none of the humans in this world has visited my blog except for my boyfriend)
2014, oh yeah! the new year with so much things to endure. hmmm... how am i gonna start this off?
first of all, i seriously love this year. Allah gimme so many things to try this yr. Alhamdulillah, i did it so far - very well (i guess). so, my upper six era. crises and conflicts. nobody is free from that. i have a LOT! dangg, it's a LOT! countless. i dunno how to tell, but it really hurts me.
today, my twenty-second monthsary with my boyfriend. i have 45 minutes before the day ends. yeah, 45 minutes. i'm hurt... i truly hurt. i cry.. at this moment... i cry so bad... it seems like nothing can stop me from crying... bad thing happened yesterday that i lost my phone. yeah, someone has stolen my phone while i was having my history exam in the morning form 8 am to 11 am. how could that person easily took away my phone? there are a lot of me and my boyfriend's photo. i just can't have a look tonight like i always did every month before... my heart beats so fast. my Sinoatrial Node generates so much wave of excitation. yeah, excitation to cry.. my lips bleed none stop. i have no one to talk, so post.. i post this.. letting the world knows my problem.. knows everything inside me.. argh.... i am so much stressful.................. so much...................................... i can't do my revision for tomorrow's test.
no, my friend (a guy) just mentioned about homework. i am like, 'weyy! i'm stressed out right now....' my eyes.. i guarantee they're like swollen.. eh seriously.... i almost like... gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. but sabar.. that's all i can do...
oh yea, since my bf is sleeping. so i just gonna publish my story just now. so it goes like this. as i arrive at sch, i told my friend that i was traumatize to bring along my bag to school due to the incident that i lost my lovey dovey purpley phone. i've been obsessed toward my phone k? cause nothing gonna replace it. so she asked if i had the phone alr, but then i shook my head. then i said, 'it's okay. sedekah saja the ten buck. just hoping for the phone to be returned'. and my friend said, 'oh my god! how can u be so patience?? if i were u, i'd be like. arghhhh' i said, 'nothing i can dooo...' then another girl who sat the opposite of me saying, 'have u found ur phone?' i said 'no~' then she was like, 'arghh. bagusssss'. i had no idea why she said bagus, hopefully she's being kind and understood my situation. so i went to another friends of me. and talked abt my phone. and they said 'sabar.. sabar..' ya Allah, here came the point i appreciate why these obstacles meant to be in my life. cause people surrounding me started to support me.. i felt so blessed... including those cleaners in school... so blessed... like it's priceless. where would u get this kind of attention unless u're in trouble? thanks Allah for everything. u opened up my mind to move on and try not to cry for what i've lost... even my boyfriend came to see me, to give me his truly purely lovely support. this is the guy who i've been thinking all the time... he understands me well.. he knows me well... he loves and supports me thru thick n' thin... i've been crying in front of him just because i lost my phone.. so touchy! but i love the way he is.... so much.
now i am super duper fine... it's 11.32 pm. 28 minutes to the end of the day... i knew he's not gonna turn around and talk to me.. cause he has gone to sleep few minutes ago.. sorry if you felt guilty as u read these... i dun publish this on the purpose to embarrass u, sayang. i just try to relief myself with the pain deep down inside.. i feel the non-stop burden on me...
i miss you... i love you... happy 22nd monthsary...
p/s: i still accept you at your worst.
lots of love, wassalam.
