confession

assalamualaikum and good night to who ever will be reading my blog..

first of all, i am all alone in the middle of the night and surrounded by loneliness and my ASUS laptop. my boyfriend went off to bed earlier at 9.58pm and my family as well around 8pm. as they off to bed, i have gone lost until now. HAHA that's it, typical me. who am i? the owner of Taman Fara (what this question has got to do in this post? LOL). i've been thinking lately, how did i pass so many tests in my life ever since i lost my dad for the past few years? how did i go through my miserable life? how did i overcome my problems with people who loves or hates me? how did i survive after i lose my friends? how did i work out to love biology today? how how how and how? well, Allah knows the best 'cause he gives me all i need today. anything happens for a reason. i am thankful that Allah gives me chance(s) to breathe, to move and to love. i do love what ever i used to have and what i do have now.

1) i have Allah! the only way to survive in life is to remember He is watching and listening 24/7. so always be thankful and always not to forget He is there for us :)
 2) i have my family! my family always on crisis in any matters, either its a small/huge. but i LOVE them so strong (yeah, that sounds weird) but yes, the word 'strong' (i mean it). i have nothing to describe about my family, because they're too perfect to be described and proud of.

3) i have my boyfriend! easy to say, he is an easy-going guy, understanding, handsome (HELL YES! for me), patience and sweet (or should i say romantic) and manja~ oh my, he's so manja than i am (anywhere i go, i can see girls are more manja than guys). forget about manja thing, let's talk about my boyfriend (oh, i love to talk about him). where can i start? well, i know him from this app (not gonna mention the exact name of the app) and Alhamdulillah, he ain't like any other guy who tends to cheat on me or do wrong things to me (and in sha Allah, he will not). been knowing him and made ourselves as bro-&-sis for about 3 months plus and eventually, we are stuck in a relationship until today because we fell in love without us noticing time flies so fast at and it's time for us to move on  together because we started to get use to one another. it has been 1 year plus with him, met him several times already. he is a helpful person and positive thinker! he easily controls his self-esteem, unlike me (my self-esteem is like 24/7 activated and i may 'pop' out to be ego every time he does a small mistake or huge, either it is my fault or not and out of nowhere go mad and insane so bad and blame him for nothing 'cause he did nothing wrong most of the time). i am so proud of you, sayang! you really stick to me and entertain my ridiculous stories or gossips and you are always there through thick n' thin with me. oh my, Alhamdulillah ya Allah for lending me a guy who stands straight for me. may this relationship lasts longer until Jannah. amin.....

4) friend(s)! i can't say i don't have any. i do have a LOT! whoa! there are many of them. they are all my good friends, i can't say few are bad or what. they are all good. i did fight over ridiculous matters with my friends but now, i really don't wanna start it AGAIN! because i am in pain once i do wrong. i always being left out even though it wasn't my fault for having a fight with my friends. however, i just look for the right things on them. i try to be good toward them because i am not perfect either to judge.

it's time to go.
wassalam!